夏天

今年夏天發生很多很多事,晚上回家的路上,暗忖著今日忽晴忽雨變化萬千的巴黎天氣,默默對自己這麼說。才一進門,剛才澄澈蔚藍的晴空馬上變臉下起傾盆大雨。其實上個夏天,我似乎也從亞維儂歸來後對自己說過類似的話語。

我回想上個夏天的矛盾和掙扎,上上個夏天的感傷,每年夏天似乎都得重新面對自己,正視自己多年來交纏無盡、至今仍未完全排遣的情緒。亞維儂是個虛幻的夢境,在夢境中和我相遇的人們,在夢醒後各自回到真實的生活,就像放完暑假之後,進入一個新的年級,認識新的同學,穿上新的制服,開展一段新的人生旅程,暑假就變成一個模糊不清的夢。

今年夏天最大的不同,是我明知這將是一場短暫的夢,還義無反顧的投入感情和大家相處。離別時有一些痛苦,離愁,是某種隔著距離時空的思念。某處,時間、空間、人,此曾在的感傷。但同時也明白,這就是緣分,情誼也有她的節奏與步調,只能豁達的隨緣,無法強求。所以,不想勉強自己故作堅強,坦白的面對自己捨不得,害怕被遺忘的心情。

一個人總要學習真誠面對自己,才能逐步地學習修養內心,成為一個獨立而堅強的個體。善變本來就是人類的特質,雖然我們總在追求永恆的存在,但也明白沒有所謂的永遠。會有相聚時的熱情,也有分別後的冷卻,會感到失望,卻又同時感謝曾經美麗的瞬間。生活在這世界,我們確實持續在失去各種重要的東西,我們像是被某種力量牽引,即使並沒有趕著前往何方,也不得不隨著人來人往,聚散分離。

不管以後將如何變化,我總希望自己能好好珍惜眼前時刻,一如我從亞維儂帶回來的玫瑰花,勢必凋謝,可她們盛開與含苞待放時各自美麗的姿態,我將記得。

So, let me sing you a song for this summer.

Marit Larsen – If A Song Could Get Me You

I could try with the waltz
I could try rock’n’roll
I could try with the blues
If a song would dig you

I could sing it high or low
When I let you go, you know
I thought it was for the best
Now it is so obvious

So here it is, here it goes
I could try it rock’n’roll
A change-your-life-forever-tune
If a song could get me you
I could make it high or low
Sing it on the radio
If that is what I need to do
If a song could get me you

I could run for miles and miles
I’d take off and I’d start flying
I could cross land and sea
If you’d just believe me

I should not have hurt you so
This old house is not a home
Without you here there’s no use
I’ve got no time left to lose

So here it is, here it goes
I could try it rock’n’roll
Change-your-life-forever-tune
If a song could get me you
I could make it high or low
Sing it on the radio
If that is what I need to do
If a song could get me you

If a song could get me through
I’d sing my way right back to you
Tell me how to make it right
Tell me now, I’ll start tonight
I know I could make it last

I swear to you that if I knew
What I was getting myself into
I wouldn’t answer to my fears
I’d never leave you standing there

Just look at me

If you’d only see me
I would prove my love for you
I could swallow half the moon
Just tell me where, tell me when
I will have you back again

Yeah, here it is, here it goes
I could try it rock’n’roll
A change-your-life-forever-tune
If a song could get me you
I could make it high or low
Sing it on the radio
If that is what I need to do
If a song could get me you

So here it is, here it goes
I could try it rock’n’roll
A change-your-life-forever-tune
If a song could get me you
I could make it high or low
Sing it on the radio
If that is what I need to do
If a song could get me you

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